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Chinese EtiquetteChinese courtesies have always been formal to follow
strict rules
Chinese Etiquette
Chinese courtesies have always been formal to follow strict rules,
although sometimes Chinese people seem to be impolite according to
Western norms in public places.
To well understand Chinese, some concepts should not be ignored:
Mianzi (Face)
The idea of shame, usually expressed as 'face' could be loosely defined
as the 'status' or 'self-respect' in Chinese and by no means alien to
foreigners. It is the worst thing for a Chinese to lose face. Never
insult, embarrass, shame, yell at or otherwise demean a person. Since all
these actions would risk putting a Chinese in a situation that he might
lose face. Neither try to prove someone wrong nor shout at him in public.
In order to get a successful effect without letting a Chinese lose face,
any criticism should be delivered privately, discreetly and tactfully, or
else, just opposite to what you wish.
Guanxi (Relationships between People)
Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental glue that has held
society together is the concept of guanxi, relationships between people.
It is very important for the Chinese to have good relationships. They
often regard good social relations as a symbol of personal ability and
influence. Someone who has no connections would be despised and is only
half-Chinese.
Keqi
Keqi not only means considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also
represents humbleness and modesty. It is impolite to be arrogant and brag
about oneself or one's inner circle. The expression is most often used in
the negative, as in buyao keqi, meaning "you shouldn't be so kind and
polite to me," or "you're welcome."
Besides, Chinese seldom express what they think directly and they prefer
a roundabout way. Neither show their emotions and feelings in public.
They rarely greet people with a handshake, though it is very popular
among foreigners, say nothing of embracing or kissing when greeting or
saying good-bye. Consequently, it is better not to behave too carefree in
public, even though you are well-intentioned. Also, it is advisable to be
fairly cautious in political discussions. Do not particularly push
yourself forward, or else you are unwelcome.
To sum up, do in Rome as Rome does, but you need not worry about these
cultural barriers since most Chinese are hospitable and amiable and will
not mind your nonproficiency.
How do Chinese address foreigners?
Answer: Officially, foreigners are addressed as Waibin (foreign guests or
foreign friends) but privately, they are call as Lao Wai.
In China, it is a usual practice, also the most intimate and friendly
way, to address people with the word "Lao" added before the family name.
For example, people may kindly call Mr. Li as Lao Li. Not least, people
also call those who come from Guangdong Province as "Lao Guang," and
those from Jiangxi "Lao Biao".
Analogically, they call foreigner "Lao Wai". Pronounced somewhat like
"law why", this address means "old foreigner". It is not intended to be
aggressive or insulting. So when you hear people call you "Lao Wai", you
should feel complemented since it seems that Chinese have treated you as
their own fellows.
Question
How should foreigners greet Chinese?
Answer: With the development of economy and culture, most ordinary people
living in large cities can speak a little bit of English. So, a "hello"
or "how do you do?" is acceptable to most of them. Also, it will be more
interesting if you are able to greet them in Chinese. The typical Chinese
greetings include nihao (hello) and jiandao ni hen gaoxing (nice to meet
you).
Of course, as a kind of universal language that needs no translation, a
smile or a wave will also elicit a friendly response.
On some occasions, shaking hands is a good means to greet Chinese people.
However, when shaking hands with a Chinese woman, do not hold it too
tightly - a light shake of the fingers will do the job.
In China, embrace is not a usual way to greet each other, except between
family members and good friends. Kissing, whether on the cheeks or on
hands, is unacceptable to the Chinese.
Question
How do foreigners address Chinese people in business and social
circumstances?
Answer: In both business and social environments, professional title is
often used after the family name when address a people. For example, a
people with the surname of Wang is addressed as:
Wang jingli (Manager Wang) when he is the manager of a company.
Wang zhuxi or Wang zongtong (President Wang) when he is the president of
a country.
Wang buzhang (Minister Wang) when he is the minister of a department.
Wang zhuxi, or Wang huizhang (Chairman Wang) when he is the chairman of
an organization.
Question
What is Chinese people's reaction to compliments?
Answer: Chinese people are very modest and not accustomed to show their
feelings in public. So, when they are praised or complimented, the
customary response is "no, no!" For example, when you praise a Chinese
for his excellent achievement in the work, he would say: "no, no, my work
is so-so". When you applaud somebody for his cooking skills, the most
possible reply is: "no, no, it is only suitable for filling the stomach."
"No, no" here does not mean that the Chinese think your compliments are
wrong or improper. It is just an unpretentious reaction to your
commendations. So, when you get such a response when praising a Chinese,
do not be discouraged since your compliments have already been delivered
successfully!
Question
How do the Chinese say "no"?
Answer: Chinese people attach great importance to their "face". They do
not like to lose face, neither risk letting others lose face. So they
seldom say "no" or make negative comments directly. Instead of saying no,
they often express their disagreement by means of a graceful excuse or a
suggestion. For example when you invite someone to have the dinner with
you, if he wants to refuse you he would say: "sorry, I have something to
do" or "sorry, I have a date with someone." And also if one doesn't agree
with your ideas, he would say: "I have another idea!"
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